Woke up to a Gun in My Face

It was my day off and I am awokened by some sounds of someone coming into my room. They did knock and I told them to come in. From my bed I see a worker coming in with a gun pointed at me. He was laughing. It was an airsoft replica of a Russian rifle, the name of which I couldn’t remember. [It was the legendary Dragunov, I was just drawing a blank for some reason…]

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In case you were wondering, I didn’t get a burst of adrenaline. I knew the whole time that he was not going to shoot me. Most importantly he was laughing and I know the guy. The second reason is that nobody knocks if they are coming to shoot you. And thirdly, and least importantly, why would anyone want to shoot me anyway? It was only when he gave the gun to me that I realised it was an airsoft version, though. The guy obviously has a great sense of humour. I could’ve gotten a fright. Somebody would’ve. I was just all giddy when I though it was a real gun. Guns are awesome.

As I lumbered out of bed to have some lunch, I thought I could go skiing today. It always seems like a good idea since I can ski for free as much as I like on Mondays (if there is no other work to be done). It was such a beautiful day for it too.

As I walked from the Christmas Square towards the skiing… area, I decided to take a picture of the place where all the garbage goes. All the garbage they produce here goes to a sight that is just next to road about 200 metres from the river.

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Doesn’t really smell when it’s frozen but probably a different story in the summer. Still very weird.

This time the ski rental workers decided to give me skis from the big boys rack. There are two racks of skis. One with weird Chinese ones and one with large brand skis. I still got the boots that look like they are from the 80’s.

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Random Chinese skis.
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Brand skis. Atomic, Völkl etc.

The ski-lift is so painfully slow and slope so short that it’s not much fun. You’re waiting for about 10 minutes to have about 20 seconds of fun. And the gradient is ridiculous. You could ski up the hill faster than the lift takes you up. Literally. Even I could.

At the very top you are greeted with a sight that looks like this:

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After taking this photo my father appeared to me like Mufasa appeared in the clouds for Simba. He told me to use the light. And that I must go to the Dagobah-system (but that was only after my tauntaun and I had been attacked by a monster).
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So between the trees there was a streak of sunlight that allowed me to brighten the subjects face and make it pop from the background. This presented new issues. Issues like the shadow behind me and on my beard.

When I meet new people I usually try to behave. Especially coming to a new country and being all alone here, I’ve tried not being a douche. Especially since showing off apparently is not really part of the overall etiquette. But I just can’t hold it in me any more. Most of the visitors suck at skiing. Because it’s their first time ever on skis. That’s OK. I help them out and stuff. But I can’t resist showing off.

Unfortunately, I am not good at skiing. I’ve only done downhill skiing once before. But I am not an idiot and I’m good with cross country skis. If I compare going down a hill and manoeuvring with cross country skis versus alpine skis, it’s like a completely different level of difficulty. Downhill skiing is easy. Hell, the first time I was actually on alpine skis I was already doing jumps to get proper air and stuff (no 180s or grabs or any other tricks though).

Compared to a person who skis a lot though, I suck. Luckily compared to these guys I am a golden god on the skis. OK, some of the people who work here are pretty good (i.e. much better than me). But the regular folk. While they were slowly “wedging” their way down the hill, I decided to… ski down the hill backwards whilst filming myself. And of course saying “hello” to people I pass on my way down (because I am douche who likes to show off his non-existent skills). I’ll upload the video when I have the time.

The fact that even I could do something like that, is saying more about the gradient than it is about me. The regular skiing is also just so boring here. Next time I’ll try with just one ski.

In other awesome news, I went to the village by myself today. Which was incredibly easy and useful. I don’t understand why that is not generally allowed. I just hitched a ride from the people coming to ski and went to the village post office to get a package that had arrived. After that I got some groceries and another package that a colleague working here in the Christmas Village needed.

My assistant told me that it will be difficult to get a ride back to the Christmas village from Beiji-village and that she might have to call somebody. Getting the ride back proved to be, in fact, very difficult. When I was buying the groceries I asked the grocery guy if he knew where I could get a cab. He told me he could take me. So literally the first person I ask could take me back. Difficult indeed. Nothing is difficult when you are surrounded by entrepreneurs and you have some money in your pocket. Something a public sector worker obviously does not understand.

The grocery guy had a nice car. And it only cost the same amount my assistant said it would cost. So it was not overpriced in any way. And I got to wear a fucking seat belt. Awesome.

PS. The header? Clickbait!

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